You’re Awful – For The Record

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2019

(I work in a supermarket bakery. When I was hired I was told about a creep who would call every so often. He doesn’t have a distinctive voice and always waits long enough that they will mostly forget — and are often busy enough anyway with multiple calls daily that they aren’t on guard when they grab the phone — and he will start off innocuously asking about custom cakes, before asking about explicit designs using graphic terms, getting all breathy and excited. They will immediately hang up on him, of course, and are very grossed out, and I often tell them if he ever calls again to just give the phone to me. Months pass by without incident until one day one of my younger coworkers answers the phone and gets a weird, uncomfortable expression on her face. While she is in her mid-20s, she has a very “baby” sounding voice.)

Coworker: “Um… just a moment.” *covering the phone and turning to me* “It’s that pervert… Did you seriously want to…?”

Me: *snatching the phone from her* “Hello, sir! I’ll be happy to help with your order, right after you explain to me, for the recording, why you’re making graphic sexual comments to my underage coworker here.”

(I heard an audible, shocked gasp and the line immediately went dead. I was, of course, full of it; we didn’t have the ability to record calls on that line even if I wanted to, and she definitely wasn’t underage, not that that should have mattered. But while we merely got a good laugh out of scaring him finally, apparently, that was more than sufficient to scare him off for good. It’s been over two years since I worked there, and the women who are still there happily inform me when I come by to shop that they still haven’t heard from him. If only all of life’s annoyances were so easily solved.)

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