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You’re At Stalemate

, , , , | Right | January 21, 2022

We’ve opened a little early today, so I’m still prepping the concession stand when the first customer comes up. The customer watches me dump fresh popcorn that’s literally just finished cooking out of the popper and load it into the warmer. You couldn’t possibly have fresher popcorn than this. The customer orders a bag of popcorn and then wanders away. About five minutes later, the customer comes back.

Customer: “This popcorn is stale.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “This popcorn is stale.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible. I literally just made that popcorn.”

Customer: “Well, it’s stale. I want new popcorn.”

I take the customer’s bag, dump out his fresh popcorn into the trash, go in the back, and fill his bag up with leftover popcorn from the night before. We usually make an extra bag at the end of the night in case anyone comes out for a refill after we close the concession stand. I bring the customer the now fourteen-hour-old-popcorn and he takes a bite.

Customer: *Beaming* “You see?! Now that’s the fresh stuff!”

He wandered away, happy as can be. I wish I could say that this was an isolated incident, but pretty much every time someone comes out and tries to tell me their popcorn is “stale,” it’s always popcorn that has literally just been made and couldn’t be any fresher.

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