You’re A Clever Trevor

, | HI, USA | Friendly | May 16, 2016

(I’m on my father’s family phone plan, and since he bought my first cell phone I have a number with his area code, a five-hour time difference ahead of mine. For a while I was getting a lot of random calls, business and otherwise, from that area code, with a good chunk of them coming in at three in the morning. As a joke, I recorded a voicemail message in Japanese (since everyone who knows me knows I speak it), and it actually helped; people stopped leaving messages or calling back again. One morning I’m between buses on my way to work, coming in early on a Saturday, and my phone rings. I check the number, recognize the area code, and let it go to voicemail. But the person hangs up before it does, and calls again. They do this two more times before I, already grumpy at the early hour, decide to pick up.)

Me: “Moshi-moshi?” *hello?*

Man: *ten seconds of silence* “…Trevor?”

Me: *I’m a girl* “Ah, Trevor? Dochira-sama desu ka?” *Trevor? who is that?*

Man: “Is this Trevor’s phone?”

Me: *waiting for the light bulb to go on* “Ano, gomen nasai, watashi no eigo ga waruinda kara…” *I’m sorry, my English is bad…*

Man: *thirty seconds of loooong, uncomfortable silence* “I guess I have the wrong number…”

Me: *in Japanglish* “Ah, hai! Rongu numba!” *yes! wrong number!*

(I hung up on him.)

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