Your Word Is Mud  

(The return policy at my shoe store does not accept any shoes that have been worn. A customer and his two children come in to return a pair of shoes. I open the box and see the son’s shoes covered in mud and dirt; they have obviously been worn.)

Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot accept these shoes because they have been worn.”

Customer: “My son has never worn these shoes.”

(I hold up a shoe covered in mud.)

Me: “Sir, these shoes have mud on them. I cannot accept worn shoes.”

Customer: “My son has not worn these shoes!”

(This exchange continues for some time, with him consistently denying his son has worn the shoes. Meanwhile, his son is cheerfully telling all the places he has worn the shoes.)

Son: “Daddy, I wore the shoes to grandma’s house!”

Son: “Daddy, I wore the shoes to the zoo!”

(And so on. The customer completely ignores his son and eventually storms out. He takes his “unworn” shoes with him. However, there are an elderly gentleman and his wife who have heard the entire exchange.)

Gentleman: “If I wore these shoes to the zoo, could I return them?”

(I told him that although it was against the policy, I would let him!)