Your Views On Gender Are Toast

(A family friend is trying to empty all the loose crumbs out of our toaster into the sink. It’s a new-ish toaster to us, and probably the first time it’s been emptied, so she’s not quite sure how it’s done.)

Friend: “How do I get the crumbs out?”

Me: “Try turning the openings to the sink?”

Step-Dad: “Step aside. Let a male have a look at it.”

Mum & Friend: “WHAT?”

Me: *after a stunned second, to my mother* “I’m going to go now, before I punch him.”

(To be fair to him, he’d not been the step-father-of-the-year recently and it’d been several incidents that had been building up, but still. It’s 2016. Your d*** isn’t an excuse for being a d***.)