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Your Threats Are As Real As Your Money

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

I am making a rather large purchase in a store that sells video games. As I’m about to pay the cashier, I notice a mild commotion at the till next to us. A man is trying to purchase something with a £50 note and is getting slowly irate with the cashier behind the till.

Cashier: “Sir, I’m sorry but you can’t pay with this; it’s fake.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. I brought that from home.”

Cashier: “Sir, regardless if you brought it from home or not, it’s fake.”

Customer: “Listen carefully, you stupid f***tard, it’s not fake! If you’re not taking my money, I want it back now!”

My cashier and I are transfixed, watching this exchange continue.

Cashier: “Sir, due to your violent behavior and the fake £50 you are desperate to get back, I will be calling the police.”

Customer: “Listen up, you f****** c***! Give me my money back now before I break your f****** arms, you s***head!”

I have to tip my hat to this legend of a cashier for the sheer amount of calm he displays during this entire spectacle. The police walk in and see what’s happening, tackle him to the floor when he resists, arrest him, and struggle to get him in the police car. The man then says the thing that damages his credibility to the abyss.

Customer: “You f***ers! I’ll sue you, you thieving wankers!”

Cashier: “By all means, go ahead! We have witnesses and have caught this all on CCTV.”

About a week later, a friend of mine who works in that store told me what happened when we met up for a chat. The man DID, in fact, try to sue, and when the lawyers got wind of the truth, they just “noped” out of the situation. The cherry on top? It turned out the customer was a banker who was known for helping out customers in cases relating to fraud.

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