Your Review Is Under Negotiation

Boss: “[My Name], do you how long these performance self-reviews usually are?”

Me: “What? Like, when printed out? Usually about two pages, right?”

Boss: “Yes. And yours is 11.”

Me: “How many pages did I tell you it was going to be?”

Boss: “Well, 30, but…”

Me: “You’re welcome. If you’d like, the review window is still open; I could expand on it. I might be able to get that baby up to 100 pages by next Monday.”

Boss: *sigh* “You did warn me you’re terrible at being political.”

Me: “Yes, but I’m an expert at hostage negotiations.”