Your Request Isn’t Novel But You Will Get Novelty Treatment

Customer: “I want to return these leggings.”

Me: “These were purchased over a year ago and they have holes in them.”

Customer: “Exactly! They should have lasted longer! I want a refund on them.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Store credit then? I have the receipt.”

Me: “Not for a product this worn, ma’am.”

Customer: “Then I’d like to speak to the manager!”

After getting multiple customers like this every day, we have put up a sign behind the customer service counter:

Sign: “If you ask to speak to the manager about a return past 30 days, then THIS is the manager:”

The sign points to a pair of novelty joke eyeglasses that come with a fake mustache. I turn around, put on the novelty glasses and turn around and speak while pointing at the sign.

Me: “I am the manager. No refund.”

The customer looks at me, looks at the sign, looks at me again, and just throws the old dirty leggings on to the counter and storms off.