Your Pee Disagrees

(I think I break my wrist while at work, while 34 weeks pregnant. I’m all baby bump — as in VERY noticeable. I get settled in at the urgent care office to wait. An over-the-road driver is in for drug screening.)

Driver: “Hey!”

Me: *keeps reading because why would anyone want to talk to me*

Driver: “Hey! Lady!”

Me: “Oh! Yes, sir?”

Driver: “I need you to do my test for me.”

Me: “WHAT?”

Driver: “Yeah, I won’t be clean. It’s just a pee test.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Driver: “Why not? It’s easy!”

Nurse: *behind him* “I’m pretty sure they’d question how you are pregnant.”

Driver: “They can test for that?”

Nurse: “Follow me, sir.”

Me: “Um. What just happened?”

Receptionist: “That’s almost normal.”

(Just a bad sprain for me in the end. I at least didn’t have a weird pee test result.)