Your Number Is Up, Buddy

This is back in the late 1990s or early 2000s. My parents and I had just moved into this new town. Dad worked at this big local bank, and as a bonus to his promotion (part of the reason why we moved), Dad was given a nice townhouse downtown from the bank at a very cheap price. The house had been confiscated by the bank since the previous owner couldn’t pay his debts and bailed.

A few weeks after we moved in, we got a call at midnight. It woke everyone up, and Dad picked up the phone.

Dad: “Hello?”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a number… pick a number…”

Dad: *Confused* “Excuse me?”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a number… pick a number…”

Dad: “Who is this?”

Drunk Caller: “Come on, man, this is [Drunk Caller]. Now pick a number.”

Dad: “Sorry, you have the wrong number.”

Drunk Caller: “Oh… Okay…” *Click*

This continued for weeks and Dad got increasingly annoyed every time this caller called again and again, even when we told him that he had the wrong number. When we asked around, we found out that the previous owner of our house was a well-known gambling addict and was known to be rowdy late into the night. Dad concluded that the drunk caller was one of his gambling buddies and didn’t know his friend had fled the town.

We got a call from the drunk gambler dude again, and Dad told him that the previous owner of this house was no longer living here.

Drunk Caller: “Oh… okay. Now pick a number.”

Dad: *Angrily* “Don’t call this number again!” *Click*

Unfortunately, the guy kept calling, no matter how many times we told him that his gambling buddy doesn’t live here anymore. He kept repeating the same words over and over each call.

Finally, Dad had enough when we got another call from the same guy one night.

Dad: *Gruffly* “Evening.”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a number… pick a number…”

Dad: *Imitating a deep authoritative voice* “This is the Precinct Police Station of [Town]. Who are you?”

Drunk Caller: “Pick a numb— Wait, what?”

Dad: “Are you deaf? You have called the Precinct Police Station of [Town]! Now state your purpose or I’ll charge you for wasting my time!”

Drunk Caller: “Ah! I’m sorry! Sorry!” *Click*

Dad: “That’s what I thought.”

Needless to say, we didn’t get another call from that guy again.