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Your Milkshake Brings All The Drunks To The Yard

, , , , , | Right | June 4, 2020

I am working the night shift at a milkshake cafe when a clearly drunk man walks in.

Drunk: “YO, LADY! I want to order!”

Me: “Welcome to [Café]. What can I get you?”

Drunk: “Three vanilla with no whipped cream, five chocolate with whipped cream, and put cherries on them!”

I do so and ring him up.

Drunk: “Where’s the discount?!”

Me: “What discount? We only have senior discounts, child discounts, and employee discounts.”

Drunk: “I’m going to get your a** fired! I’m the owner’s brother! You will be fired!”

This is a family-owned café and he is clearly lying. I look at my family, and we all wink and play along.

Dad: “I have a brother?”

Grandma: “Uh-oh!”

Grandpa: “Did you cheat on me? I can’t believe you!”

Grandma: “Honey, I’m sorry. He was so awesome!”

Drunk: “I… Err…”

Dad: “I’m moving in with Dad because he doesn’t cheat! I’m moving out of your sinned house!”

The drunk ran out of the café, never to be heard from again.