Your Local Coke Dealer Is Out

(I pull into the drive-thru of a fast food outlet to get a drink. I am only ordering a drink.)

Worker: “Hi! Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. Would you like to try our new burger meal?”

Me: “No, thanks. I’d just like a medium Coke.”

Worker: “Sorry, we’re out of Coke. We have Diet Coke and Coke Zero.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll have a Sprite.”

Worker: “We’re out of all Coke products. We have Diet Coke and Coke Zero.”

Me: “Do you have unsweetened iced tea?”

(I know they brew tea in the store and it doesn’t use the soft drink dispensers.)

Worker: “No, just Diet Coke and Coke Zero.”

Me: “Okay, never mind, then. Thanks, anyway.”

Worker: “Oh, my God! Are you seriously not going to order just because we don’t have the drink you want?”

Me: “Well, since I only came for a drink and you don’t have any without sugar substitutes, yes.”

Worker: “Fine!”

(As I am pulling out, I watch the manager stare strangely at the car in the other lane that is pulling away without placing an order. I roll down the window and suggest he put up a sign that says they are out of everything except diet drinks.)

Manager: “Why? We have Diet Coke and Coke Zero. We don’t need a sign.”

(As I was pulling out onto the road, the next two cars in line followed me without placing an order.)