Your Eyesight Is Poop

(We have just gotten a new puppy and we are working on potty training, as it’s a new environment and new people. Understandably, she’s been under a lot of stress and has had a few accidents in the house. But after a few accident-free days, she gets the runs in the house and as we are working on potty training, we still take her out. Today, I have been up since six am cleaning up accidents and Googling how to make her feel better ,until about seven when I try taking her out again. She squats, but nothing comes out so we just walk away.)

Random Neighbor: *on his balcony* “HEY! I SAW YOU! PICK UP YOUR POOP!”

Me: “There is literally nothing to pick up! What do you want me to do?”

Random Neighbor: “PICK IT UP!”

(I walk back with a baggie and pretend to pick up poop, since there’s nothing there.)

Random Neighbor: “See, was that so hard!”

Me: “…?”

(Seriously, I get it. We all want a clean, poop-free park. But unless you are the poop police, and you are going to come down and take pictures of said poop as evidence, maybe don’t shout at people at seven am!)