Your Career As A Comedian Is Sinking

One day, out of the blue, I passed out in the bathroom and hit my head on the way down. There was no permanent damage, but my face got banged up and it made me self-conscious to go out in public. However, I decided to grit my teeth and go to my apartment’s leasing office in person. When I got there, the leasing agent did a visible double-take at my multiple contusions.

Agent: “Hellooooooooh, my god!”

Me: “Yeah, uh, you should see the other guy.”

Agent: “…”

Wait, I don’t want her to think I’m a brawler!

Me: “Don’t worry. The other guy was the sink.”

Agent: “…”

Wait, I don’t want her to think I damaged the apartment!

Me: “The sink is fine!”

Agent: “…”

Me: “Um. I have a question about my lease renewal…?”

I didn’t try to joke about it again.