Your Blood Will Be On His Hands

(I’m a lab tech and work with several grad students under a notoriously short-tempered professor. One of our grad students has trouble with English, especially with metaphors.)

Grad Student: “Hey, uh, [Professor] is after your blood.”

Me: “Oh, s***, what did I do?”

Grad Student: “I don’t know… He just said he’s gonna go get [My Name] and to watch out.”

(A few minutes later, the professor shows up. I get ready to be yelled at when…)

Professor: “Hey, [My Name], I’m glad I got you before you left! I asked [Grad Student] to keep an eye out for you, but he just looked scared. I used up all my samples of mouse blood and— Why do you look so scared?”

Me: “Professor, I think we should stop teaching [Grad Student] about metaphors.”