Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air, Part 3

(One late night at the diner where I work, a customer comes in, obviously drunk. She orders three pork chops, hash browns with all the toppings, and eggs.  The customer eats everything on the plates and then calls me over.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “My hash browns had peppers in them. I’m deathly allergic! I need you to give me the food for free. I have to go to the hospital.”

Me: “Do you need me to call an ambulance?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no. I can get there on my own. Just give me the food for free.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. You ate all of your food and you seem fine.”

Customer: “Then give me a discount, half off. I’m allergic to peppers! You gave them to me! I’m going to sue you!”

Me: “Ma’am, you seem fine, and you obviously saw and tasted the peppers, yet you ate it anyway. I can’t give you a discount.”

Customer: *starts breathing heavily* “You did this to me…” *gasps for air* “…and you won’t give me my food for free! I’m suing you!”

Me: “That’s okay, but you still have to pay. I’ll have to call the police if you don’t pay.”

Customer: *abruptly stops breathing heavily, pays, walks out, and gives everyone the middle finger*