Your Argument Has No Hairy Leg To Stand On

, , , , , | Friendly | November 23, 2016

(In my early 20s I lived with three other women in an apartment. We all got along really well, even though we were from very different places, and would hang out regularly. It’s winter and three of us are hanging out chatting while our other roommate takes a nap.)

Me: “I hate shaving. I’m so glad it’s winter so I don’t have to shave and can just wear leggings and boots or long pants.”

Roommate #1: “You don’t shave in the winter?!”

Roommate #2: “Why wouldn’t you shave?!”

Me: “What’s the point? It’s not like I’m trying to impress anyone right now and no one will see anyways since I’m wearing pants all the time.”

Roommate #2: “You’re never going to find a guy if you don’t shave your legs.”

Me: “What are you talking about? My last boyfriend didn’t care at all.”

(It was my idea to break up. He proposed and I turned him down.)

Roommate #1: “He was probably lying to you. My brother came up to me a while ago and asked me to talk to his wife about how she never shaved. He hated it and didn’t know how to tell her.”

Me: “Dude, that’s totally his problem and something he should have talked to her directly about.”

Roommate #2: “That’s not the point! It’s gross and any guy who tells you it’s not is lying to you.”

Me: “Well, I don’t care! I’m not going to shave!”

(At this point, our other roommate comes into the room, yawns, and curls up on the couch with a blanket. This roommate is very beautiful, extremely sweet, and has a reputation for having guys fawn over her regularly.)

Roommate #1: “[Roommate #3]! Tell [My Name] that she needs to shave her legs and will never find a guy if she doesn’t!”

Roommate #3: “Why would I do that? Shaving sucks. I hate it and any guy who minds isn’t worth our time.”

(I guess they forgot that she was from Alaska.)

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