You’ll Take An Arrow To The Knee Before You Pick It

(My daughter has a notebook that can be locked with a padlock. One day she realises that she can’t find the keys and asks me to help her look for them. After a while of fruitless searching:)

Me: “I don’t think we’re going to find them. I reckon we should stop looking for now.”

Daughter: “But I want to find them!”

Me: “That’s up to you, but I was thinking that maybe I could pick the lock, and then we’ll see about getting a new padlock to replace it.”

(I find a small screwdriver and begin fiddling with the padlock.)

Daughter: “Mum, you know you’re not playing Skyrim now, right? You can’t just pick the lock.”

(There is a small ‘snick’ as the padlock opens.)

Me: “I know.”