You’ll Soon Be Pregnant With Debt

(I have just arrived home after work, when I receive a phone call from my graduate school’s alumni office. I am heavily pregnant, expecting my first child.)

Alumni Office: “Hi! Is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Alumni Office: “This is [Name] with [University]. We are calling to get an update on what you’ve been doing since graduation.”

(I tell her my job, and how long I’ve been there, etc. The usual.)

Alumni Office: “It’s great that you’ve been able to find a job in your field. Would you like to make a donation to us today?”

Me: “I’m pregnant and due next month, so I really don’t have the money. Sorry.”

Alumni Office: “Would you like me to call you next month?”

Me: “I’M HAVING A BABY! I’ll have even less money next month!”