You’ll Hurt The Table’s Feelings 

, , , , | Right | November 21, 2019

(I work in a well-known coffee shop. One day, a woman approaches me and asks to speak to my manager. I call the shift supervisor over, since she’s in charge in the manager’s absence. The shift and the customer go out into the café. I can’t hear their conversation, as I am busy making a line of drinks and tending to customers. I can see the look on the shift’s face, though, and she looks bewildered. After their exchange, the customer exits the store and the shift returns behind the line.)

Me: “What was that about?”

Shift: “You’re not going to believe this! That woman called me over there to tell me that the table was too ugly for her to sit at.”

Me: “Seriously?! What the h*** did she want you to do about it?”

Shift: “I don’t know, but from the way she was speaking to me it was as though she expected me to get on the phone right now to order a new table. Or maybe she wanted me to just make a new one appear, because, you know, we’ve got extra tables hanging around and we just keep the good ones in the back.”

Me: “Wow… just… wow.”

Shift: “I know, right? It’s not as though I can just pull one out of my butt and set it up for her.” 

Me: “Maybe she’s the one that needs to pull something out of her butt.”

Shift: “Yeah, like her head.”

(The “ugly” table was a bit weathered and someone had carved a name into it, but other than that there was nothing wrong with it. No other customer had ever complained about it, and dozens of people happily sat there every day.)

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