You’d Betta Swim Away, Lady

I’m a manager and a fish geek. We have an excellent display of Betta fish (Siamese Fighter fish) at my store — around twenty individual fish. They are a tropical species and can be fickle at best; caring for them is complicated.

A woman comes in to ask about the Bettas.

Woman: “I want to purchase all of your Bettas. I’m getting married, and I want to use them as centrepieces on my table displays; each table will have a fish in a vase. I’d like you to hold them until my wedding, and then have them bagged up and ready on [date a week from now].”

Me: “What do you have planned for ongoing care for these fish?”

Woman: “They’re going to be given to the guests at the end of the wedding.”

Me: “Absolutely not.”

Cue hysterics and the mother of all tantrums, complete with the classic, “You’re destroying my day!”

Sigh.