You Wouldn’t Beliebe It

(We have pre-teen Justin Bieber cut outs in our store, along with party accessories.)

Customer: “I was wondering if you have any ‘Justine Bieber’ stuff.”

Me: *thinking nothing of how she said the name* “Right this way! We have the pre-teen Bieber, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “No, I was wanting the cut out stand. You know, the cardboard ones you can buy.”

Me: “OH! Yes, I don’t think we have any set up in the store, but we have some in the back. They’re $34.97 for one.”

Customer: “That’s really high!”

Me: “I agree. It’s a bit much for some cardboard, but girls seem to love owning them.”

Customer: “That’s true. My granddaughter keeps asking for one.”

Me: “Well, let me just look in the back to see if we have one.” *goes to back and brings out a still-packaged cut out*

Customer: “Oh, this one is pre-teen, too.”

Me: “Yes. I’m afraid we don’t have any new Bieber items.”

Customer: *frowning at the cut out* “Just as well. I don’t really like my granddaughter having this Bieber stuff. Have you see how she looks?”

Me: “Sorry? Your granddaughter?”

Customer: “No, ‘Justine Bieber.’ She’d be so much prettier if she’d grow her hair out, is what I mean. With her hair all spiked up how it is, she looks like a lesbian!”