You Will Not Receive Our Assistants

(I am one of two attorneys for a small law firm. There aren’t very many employees that work at the office and thus if even one of them is out sick we have to pick up slack to help each other out. On this particular day, three of them are out of the office, so I am helping by answering the phone.)

Caller: “Is [Other Attorney] available?”

Me: “I’m sorry, he’s left for the day. Can I take a message?”

Caller: “Tell him [Caller] called and I need him to return my call. Think you can handle that?”

Me: “Uh, yes, sir, I am pretty sure I can handle that.”

Caller: “Are you sure? I know assistants are always screwing s*** up. I should know; my assistants f*** up all the time.”

Me: “Sir, are you one of our clients already?”

Caller: “Nope.”

Me: “Well, I hate to break it to you, but I am an attorney here, and you won’t ever be a client.”

(I hung up. I don’t want clients who treat my staff poorly like that, so I don’t care if we lost business. It sucks to see people not get stood up for on this site, so hopefully this is a win for those who need it!)