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, , , , , | Related | CREDIT: SquishySpark | May 27, 2021

My grandmother, Oma, is a woman you do NOT want to cross and performed one of the best instances of malicious compliance in my family.

My Opa — her husband — worked for a well-known US telephone company that pretty much had a monopoly fifty years ago, and Oma was a stay-at-home wife with young kids.

Early in their marriage, Opa would call home several times a day to check up on Oma. He came from an Italian-American family and his mother was very controlling. If he called and she was out to market, he’d keep calling every break until she picked up. He claimed that he just wanted to make sure she was okay. This went on for a few weeks until Oma had enough.

One day, she called his office before he could take a break, and his coworker picked up.

Oma: “Is [Opa] available?”

Coworker: “No, would you like me to get him?”

Oma: “No, but please share this message with him. Let him know that I’m going to the grocery store for an hour, so he needn’t call. Then, I will fix lunch for myself and the kids. I’ll need to give [Daughter] a bath after that, because she’s a messy eater. I’ve been constipated lately, so around two o’clock, I plan on sitting on the pot for a while and taking an enema, so if I don’t answer the phone, that’s why. Have him call if he really needs anything.”

Apparently, Opa came home that evening red-faced and never called home to check up on her again.

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