You Toy With Me I’ll Toy With You

(I answer the phone. The caller is male; I am female.)

Me: “[Grocery], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Your hold music is awesome.”

Me: “Thanks… What can I help you with today?”

Caller: “Do you sell…” *giggles* “…sex toys?”

Me: “No, we do not.”

Caller: *still giggling* “Oh, well, my girlf—” *I disconnect the call*

(Later, when I’m relaying the story to a coworker…)

Me: “I should have said ‘no, you’ll have to find another way to go f*** yourself.'”