You Spelled It Spelt It

(I’m a Canadian immigrant working for an American company, and one of my jobs includes copy editing and writing for various projects. One of the things I playfully gripe about is my boss’s insistence that I use the Americanized English, for example, “color” instead of “colour”, across projects for consistency. It’s sometimes a struggle for me, because after ten years in the US, I still instinctively use British English spelling while typing and have to manually correct myself for work. He calls to check in since I work remotely, and I’m editing a batch of text while listening to a randomized playlist. We joke around with each other a lot.)

Boss: “Now, don’t forget. None of this extra ‘U’ nonsense.”

Me: “You’re so mean. I won’t stand for this.”

Boss: “Oh, I think you will. Don’t forget to kill the extra British ‘L’ in ’fuelled,’ there.”

Me: “This oppressive American regime isn’t going to last, you know.”

Boss: “Whatever. Just do it.”

Me: “I want it on record that this is detrimental to my emotional well-being. This makes me very sad.”

(Right on cue, my playlist randomly switches over to one of the saddest, most depressing songs known to man: Gary Jules’ “Mad World”.)

Me: “There, you see?! Even the soundtrack to my life is sad because of you.”

Boss: “You’re ridiculous.”

Me: “Everything’s gone all rainy and black and white, [Boss]. The ennui, [Boss]!”

Boss: “I’m hanging up.”