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You Snooze, You Lose, And Mom Will Make Sure Of That

, , , , , , , , | Related | October 29, 2021

This was the time before smartphones. My dad had a really bad habit of getting up at the last minute to leave for work. You know the type: sets the alarm for a certain time just so they can hit the snooze button over and over, only to be running out the door with a Poptart in hand? That was my dad.

This was often a frustrating conversation my mother would have with him to fix. On top of the ridiculous amount of times she had to hear that alarm from four to five in the morning, a new baby (me!), and having to make breakfast and clean the mess, she would ask for his help on certain small house tasks that he was otherwise “too tired” to do once he came home.

Unfortunately, with his horrible morning routine, his excuse every morning would be, “Sorry, honey, I’m in a rush so I need to get to work.” It was so bad he’d sometimes have to skip breakfast altogether, so she’d barely even get to talk to him before he left.

My mother, having grown up as the oldest of six other boys, had developed a very petty, mean streak when it came to getting exactly what she wanted.

One particular morning, my dad woke up to find that he had slept in a little too late, and the military can be pretty unforgiving to those who miss formation, thus beginning his usual routine of scrambling to shower, get his uniform on, and rush out the door. Upon telling me this story, he did tell me that he found it odd that my mom wasn’t nagging him for once. She didn’t stop him to talk or complain or yell; she just sat at the table with a cup of coffee and watched him trip over himself to rush to work.

My dad got into his car, turned it on… and noticed the time on his car’s clock was about an hour and a half before he had to leave. He looked at his wristwatch; yep, that said he was late! He looked at his car’s clock and then looked at his watch again. Then, he looked out the window and realized… it was WAY too dark for it to have been the time he was supposed to leave.

And then it hit him. My mother, in all her glory, had changed all the clocks in the house — the oven time, the microwave, his alarm clock, and somehow even his wristwatch — while he was asleep!

Mind you, my mother is severely visually impaired. If text isn’t gigantic and/or outlined with a light or opposing color and her nose isn’t basically touching what she needs to read, she can’t see it. To this day, he doesn’t know how the heck she managed to pull off changing the time on his digital watch without waking him.

Resigned to her little game, he shut off his car and slunk his way into the house. And there was my mother, gleefully sipping her cup of coffee with a huge grin.

“Great!” she said. “Looks like you’ve got time to help me now.

Suffice to say, he stopped hitting the snooze button.

This story is part of our Best Of October 2021 roundup!

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