Holds No Quarter With Him

(When my son is about eight years old, I take him trick or treating. We arrive at one house where a party appears to be in full swing. Nobody answers the door, so we are leaving. However a guy finally comes to the door. He gives my son a quarter.)

Man: “You should have been here earlier; we were giving out dollar bills.”

(After he went in, my son looks at his quarter and says:)

Son: “He could have given me four.”