You Say Tomato, I Say Prenatal

(I’m getting ready to make dinner. Note that my fiancé and I have not been intimate for a few months now due to an injury he sustained kickboxing.)

Me: *walks into room* “Hey babe, I have some bad news.”

Fiancé: “Oh my God, you’re pregnant!”

Me: “Uh…no. We’re out of spaghetti sauce.”

Fiancé: *rushes up and hugs me* “I love you anyway.”

Me: *speechless*

Fiancé: “Especially your empty womb.”