You Saw The Signs

I’m waiting for a friend at her work, standing around the back. It’s dingy, wet, and full of signs to keep clear, warnings, no smoking, no entry, etc.

A guy rushes out of one of the doors carrying something from the restaurant. He fairly aggressively questions me and, happy that I’m there for a good reason, warns me to keep clear as he will be coming through the doors and won’t be held responsible.

Fine, whatever. I can read; I was already well clear.

As I continue to wait, a woman walks over, stands uncomfortably close — right in front of me, like she is cutting in some imaginary line. Then, worse, she lights up a cigarette.

Me: “Can you move down a bit?”

Nothing, she just looks at me, not even a recognition that I spoke. Perhaps she doesn’t speak English?

Me: “You, move, that way?”

I do a “go away” motion with my hands.

She rolls her eyes at me. The door slams open and I take a small step back away from her. Almost in slow motion, a massive cooking pot hits the ground, and brown-grey water splashes toward us. I manage to stay dry, but it covers the woman’s shoes up to her knees.

Woman: “My new shoes! You f****** idiot! You stupid idiot!”

Guy: “Sorry, sorry. Are you okay?”

Woman: “Do I look okay? Look at my shoes!”

Guy: *To me* “You okay?”

Me: “I’m fine. I read the signs. Keep clear! Very obvious.”

This sent the woman into a rage; the noise and language were shocking.

After trying to force her way through the staff entrance, she marched off to the front of the restaurant to complain. Unfortunately, my friend turned up shortly afterward so I didn’t get to see the fallout.