You Really Managed The Heck Out Of That One, Manager

I work in an office where about five out of ten people are in at a given time. I have a manager who enjoys doing none of the work but taking all the credit. This happens the day before my “work wife’s” birthday.

Manager: “What are we doing for [Work Wife]’s Birthday? I was thinking about getting her my favorite dessert.”

Me: “[Coworker #1] and I got her a tea set with some tea. I also got her [her favorite dessert] and we are going to buy her lunch from [Pizza Place] per her request.”

Manager: “Okay!”

That night, I place the food order making sure there is enough food for all of us, even texting a few people to confirm that they are coming in. Everyone is coming in because we all adore [Work Wife]. The food is set to arrive at noon. The next day, the manager comes down surprised to see we have other coworkers in the office.

Manager: *To [Work Wife]* “So, we are getting you pizza from [Other Pizza Place], huh?”

We exchange glances in case I messed up where I was supposed to get it from. I didn’t.

Me: “No. We are getting it from [Pizza Place]. It comes at noon.”

Manager: “Okay. Cool. Call me when it comes down.”

She leaves and I get this text message.

Manager: “Did you order enough food for everyone? I didn’t know [Coworker #2] and [Coworker #3] were here.”

Wonderful concerned question, right? Until noon hits…

Manager: “I am so glad I reminded you to get enough food for everyone! If you hadn’t ordered this extra pizza, there wouldn’t have been enough food!”

She prattled on about how much planning she’d put into it. Yes. That is exactly how it would’ve gone down. Without you, I would’ve let the interns watch us eat pizza. Being a jerk and all that.