You Picked The Most Un-Sue-table Coffee Place
I work in a swanky and admittedly bougie coffee place. Almost on a weekly basis we get this one customer and her two very-badly-behaved kids come in. She always lets them run around the seating area bothering people, and as much as we plead with her to “please corral her children”, she just says “boys will be boys” and lets them run amok. We try to get management to tell her, but they say:
Managers: “There’s nothing we can do if the other customers aren’t complaining.”
Then the day happens. One of them spills a guy’s coffee all over his laptop and themselves. The kid starts crying because the coffee is hot. Instead of checking on the health of the kid, she marches over to the guy:
Mother: “You spilled your coffee over my kid!”
Customer: “No, he ran into my table because you weren’t watching him.”
Mother: “I’m going to sue you for hurting him! Everyone here is a witness!”
At this point, the customer starts laughing.
Mother: “What’s so funny? You won’t be laughing this hard when I see you in court!”
The customer stands up and hands her his business card.
Customer: “Look around. This coffee house is the ground floor of a skyscraper full of law firms, including State Attorneys, of which I am one. Everyone here is indeed a witness… and a lawyer, and they’re all watching your neglectful parenting get more neglectful by the minute the longer you continue to ignore your crying son.”
By this point, a coworker and I have come over to check on the boy. He’s not burned, thank goodness, but definitely a bit shocked and embarrassed.
Customer: “I look forward to hearing from your lawyer.”
She grabs her kids, screeching at me as I apply ice cubes to his arm:
Mother: “Let go!”
They storm out. The customer walks over to me.
Customer: “She in here a lot?”
Me: “Once a week.”
Customer: “She pay by card?”
Me: “She does.”
Customer: “Tell your manager that someone from CPS might be calling for some receipts at some point.”
And with that, we replaced his coffee, and he went upstairs to get to work…
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