You Need To Learn How To Drive… Away
A while back, I tried teaching my wife how to drive a standard transmission. The Costco parking lot on Easter Sunday seemed like the place to practice driving.
That year, Easter happened to fall on 3/31. A few minutes into the lesson, an old woman walks right up to the car and starts tapping on the window.
Woman: “Why is Costco closed?!”
Me: *Through the glass.* “Probably because it’s Easter Sunday!”
Woman: “Well then, why are you here?”
Me: “Driving lesson.”
Woman: “You need to let me in!”
Me: “I don’t work here.”
Woman: “You don’t understand! I got coupons!”
Me: “I still don’t work here.”
Woman: “The coupons expire on the 31st! It’s false advertising for them to be closed on the 31st!”
Me: “Well, maybe you should take it up with them when they open.”
Woman: “But you’re here!”
Me: “Yes, but we don’t work here.”
Woman: “But you need to let me in!”
Me: “Ma’am, we don’t work here. Even if we did, the store is closed today, and no one can let you in. Now, my wife is about to learn how to drive a standard transmission for the first time, and you being so close wouldn’t be wise. Please back off.”
Woman: “But my coupons!”
Me: *Loudly to my wife.* “I’m not saying aim for her, but I’m not telling you not to either.”
The woman scowls at us both and moves on, ranting about her coupons.
