You Just Did His Mom And Brother A Favor

I am in the middle of getting a tattoo done when a guy walks into the shop.

Customer: “Hey, can I bum a light off of anyone in here?”

Tattoo Artist: “Dude, I’m a little busy right now.”

Customer: “Well, if not, then can I get a tattoo?”

Tattoo Artist: “It’s a $40 deposit, and what were you looking to get?”

Customer: “I want a portrait of my brother and my mom, and I want it done tomorrow.”

Tattoo Artist: “I can’t do that tomorrow. We’ll need a professional-grade photo of them so we have a good image to go off of, and then it will take some time to draw up. We don’t want it to look rushed.”

Customer: “You sure you can’t get it done tomorrow? That’s how they do it in Pittsburgh! You walk in and get it done.”

Tattoo Artist: “Well, this isn’t Pittsburgh. And like I said, we want it to look good, not rushed.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll be back.”

He leaves and my artist gets back to tattooing me.

Tattoo Artist: “He’s not coming back.”