You Have Zero Grounds For A Replacement Unless You Go To Ground Zero

It is September 12, 2001. I work at a call center for a retailer. I get a call from a caller who provides details about a purchase he made in South Carolina:

Caller: “Yeah, my weed trimmer was in the Twin Towers and got destroyed by terrorists. You need to replace it under warranty.”

Me: “Uh… your weed trimmer was… in the World Trade Center?”

Caller: “Yup.”

Me: “Sir, you’re calling from South Carolina, and this weed trimmer was purchased in South Carolina.”

Caller: “Yup.”

Me: “What would a weed trimmer be doing in an office building?”

Caller: “Doesn’t matter. It was in there. It needs a replacement under warranty.”

Me: “So… you were in New York City yesterday? And today you’re in South Carolina?”

Caller: “Nope. I’m still in South Carolina. Only the weed trimmer had gone to New York.”

Me: “I’m… gonna need to consult with my manager.”

Caller: “Whatever.”

I tell my manager what this guy is trying to pull, and we both just stand there trying to process it for a moment.

Manager: “I want to get angry at this person’s willingness to use a national tragedy to get a few bucks.”

Me: “You want to? But are you?”

Manager: “Nah, as this guy hasn’t read his warranty carefully. True, we replace it if it’s damaged through no fault of his own… but only if he brings the damaged item into one of our stores.”

Me: “Oh!”

Manager: “So tell him to go to that collapsed pile of buildings and bodies, that’s still smoking by the way, and start digging. That’s the closest we’re going to come to telling this pr**k to f*** off without getting fired.”

I went back and told the caller that. He swore at us and hung up.