You Have My Permission To Freak Out

(I’m from the Netherlands, but my boyfriend is from the UK. He wants to ask me to marry him, but wants to ask my father for permission first. My parents got married at 19 with a very traditional ceremony,and are still together.)

Boyfriend: “I would like your permission to marry your daughter.”

Father: “…you what?”

Boyfriend: “Ehm, I’d like your permission-”

Father: “My permission?”

Boyfriend: “Eh… yes?”

Father: “What do you think my permission has to do with anything? Did you get her an engagement ring?”

Boyfriend: “Yes.”

Father: “That’s it. I’m calling her right now and telling her you’re stuck in the 20th century.”

(Despite my boyfriend’s frantic attempts to get my father to put the phone down, my father calls me.)

Father: “Hi honey, I’ve got your boyfriend here, and I’m sorry to have to say this, but he seems to have no respect for you as an individual. He just asked me for permission to marry you and he’s already got a ring to mark you as his property. He probably wants you to wear a white dress and for me to ‘give you away’ as well, like some sort of property to be handed from one man to the next.”

(My boyfriend is so mortified at this point he’s about to faint. I’m not sure whether my father is joking.)

Me: “Aren’t those all things you and mum did when you got married?”

Father: “That was *forty* years ago! The world has moved on since then! Have they never heard of gender equality in the UK?!”

(Be happy to know, we did get engaged!)