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You Gotta Admit, The Potty Training Is Easier

, , , , , , | Working | March 25, 2021

I don’t really know my coworker, [Coworker #1]; the only interaction I have with her is when she invites herself to my conversations. It’s annoying, but I figure she is just a bit awkward, so I don’t make a fuss. I do, however, learn quickly not to talk about my kids; she will constantly chime in with unwanted and condescending advice about how she would do things differently with “her babies.”

A load of us are grabbing lunch and we don’t see [Coworker #1] sneak up on us.

Coworker #2: “So, how are your kids getting on after their bad night the other night?”

Me: “Oh, much better, thanks. We let them stay up a little later than normal last night and they fell asleep on our bed.”

Coworker #2: “Bless them, I bet they enjoyed that.”

[Coworker #1] comes over and sits down.

Coworker #1: “You shouldn’t be so lenient on them. How are they going to know their boundaries?! Hmmm?!”

Me: “With all respect, you don’t know—”

Coworker #1: *Completely ignoring me* “No, that won’t do at all. My babies are locked downstairs. It might seem cruel, but it’s for their own good.”

Coworker #2: “You lock your kids away?”

Coworker #1: “My dogs! What did you think I meant?! Some people!”

Me: “Hang on. All this stupid parenting advice you have been pushing around, and you don’t even have any children?”

Coworker #1: “Dogs, children — what’s the difference?! Let me tell you, I’ve been raising my babies since they were born and they have turned out perfectly fine. You might learn a thing or two.”

Me: “I can’t believe this. I’m leaving.”

Coworker #2: “Me, too.”

I understand people without kids not having a clue, but to compare children to dogs? That is just beyond ignorance and out the other side.

This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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