You Get What You Pay For, And You Pay For What You Get

I’m working a lunch shift today, and my table is going well until after this guy and his wife cash out.

Customer: *Angrily* “I’ve never been anywhere that it costs $72 for a soup and salad!”

Me: “You also ordered two cosmos and grilled salmon for your salad, and your wife ordered two glasses of wine, a shot of whiskey, and two more food items.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve never been anywhere where it costs $72 for lunch. Also, this dressing was bad.”

Me: “Again, you got more than that, but I’d be happy to take seventy-five cents off for that extra dressing you asked for.”

We go back and forth with the same dialogue two or three more times, and I finally just say:

Me: “Okay, thanks. Have a great day!”

He calls me back over five minutes later.

Customer: “I’m ready to pay.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve already paid. Have a great day.”

I was so confused. He didn’t tip me, of course.