You Don’t Want Them As A Member

(I am a customer in a store known for selling not only music-related items but pop culture merchandise. I’m in line behind two older women, roughly 60-something in age each, and they’ve just finished finding some merchandise for one lady’s granddaughter who is a fan of a popular television show and specifically one of the main characters. The cashier has rung up her purchase, and asks if she would like to have a “member” card, which is not necessary to purchase anything in the store, but can earn you discounts and coupons based on points you rack up. The woman agrees and they begin filling in the form.)

Cashier: “Name?”

Woman: *provides full name, spelling both first and last out*

Cashier: “Phone number?”

Woman: *instantly irate* “Why would you need that?”

Cashier: “Um… Okay, we’ll skip that for the moment. Mailing address?”

Woman: *loudly and angrily* “Why do you need that? I’m not giving you that!”

Cashier: “It’s to mail you coupons.”

Woman: “I don’t want coupons!”

(Even though there’s loud rock music playing in the store, everyone by now can hear this woman shrieking at the young cashier. People are staring.)

Cashier: “Well, what about an email address?”

Woman: “I don’t have an email!”

Cashier: “Last question… birth date?”

Woman: *finally blowing her top and literally screaming at the cashier* “WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT?! That’s personal!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, it’s so we can send you a birthday coupon.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t want a birthday coupon! Honestly, this card sounds like a scam with all these questions. You know what? I won’t ever buy anything from here again!”

(She takes the items from the counter and throws them up in the air like confetti, and she and her friend both storm out in a huff. Another employee gathers the fallen items and silently goes to put them back. I step forward with my lone purchase — a small Captain America toy — and place my membership card on the counter with the toy.)

Cashier: *giving me a thankful smile* “I see you already have our card, so I don’t need to ask you.”

Me: *tapping the toy* “Cap says, ‘Watch your temper!’”

(I mean, honestly, it wasn’t mandatory. I’m sorry to that woman’s granddaughter who was not going to get her merchandise!)