You Could Keep Going West But That’s The Long Way Round
(I am hosting at the end of the night on a Saturday, about thirty minutes before we close, when this customer walks in. He looks a little worse for wear and very confused.)
Me: “Evening, sir, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Uh… can I use the restroom?”
(Normally, our policy is to only allow paying customers to use the restrooms, but since it’s late and he doesn’t appear to mean any harm, I allow it. He returns a few minutes later.)
Customer: “You might be able to help me with this. I’m on a trip.”
Me: “That’s great, sir. How can I help?”
Customer: “Which way is Florida?”
Me: *confused pause* “Florida?”
Customer: “Yes, I’m a little lost. Which way is it?”
Me: “Well, if you get on the interstate heading east, I suppose you’ll get there eventually.”
Customer: “Go west?”
Me: “East.”
Customer: “Ah, thanks.” *mutters* “Must’ve been going the wrong way…”
(The customer left. A few of my coworkers came over to see if I was okay after he left, because I had dropped down under the host stand to hide how I was crying with laughter. We’re located in Louisiana. How far in the wrong direction did he go?)