You Can’t Make Up This

(I work at a cosmetics counter in a department store. A lot of men like to joke as they walk by, saying something like “Will you put some makeup on me and make me prettier?” My answer is always the same. This man, however, one-upped me.)

Customer: “Will you put some makeup on me?” *laughs*

Me: “If you want to sit down, I will!”

Customer: “All right, put some eyeliner on me and let’s see if my kids notice!”

(I put some brown eyeliner on him and he left to go find his family, but not before insisting I take a tip from him. He ended up shoving five bucks in my uniform pocket and just walking away. About ten minutes later, he walked back by.)

Customer: *loudly whispering* “They haven’t even noticed yet!”

(Thanks, random man, for making me smile and buying my coworkers and me Cokes with your tip!)