You Can’t Just Ask People That!

, , , , , | Friendly | November 27, 2020

Due to a complicated series of events, I ended up with sole custody of my stepchildren. They are eight-year-old fraternal twins who look very similar to each other, despite being different genders. The only ways to tell them apart are their clothing choices, the length of their hair, and the color of their glasses. If you were to look closely you might notice the shapes of their noses and that my daughter has one blind eye.

It’s been a very warm week here, and since it’s probably the last warm weather of the year, we decide to enjoy it and go get ice cream.

After we buy the ice cream, we go to a nearby park to eat it. An old woman is walking her dog in the park. She waves to us; we wave back. Then, she stops, turns around, removes her mask to rub her eyes — she isn’t wearing glasses or anything, so I don’t understand why she had to remove her mask — and then stares at us for a second.

Woman: *Bluntly* “Did this man kidnap you?”

Twin #1: “No, this is our dad!”

She looks for a few more minutes, and then walks away saying something to the effect of, “Back in my day, women were a bit more subtle when they had an affair with the mailman.”

A few minutes later she came back, stared at us, and then walked away again.

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