You Can’t Handle The Truth

, , , , | Working | May 14, 2019

(I am getting ready to move to another city, and I am cancelling my utilities at the old place and setting stuff up at the new place. I have saved the cable company for last, as I want to drop their service entirely and go with someone else, and said cable company has just been in the news for being unbelievably difficult to deal with when cancelling service. Warily, I call customer service and tell them I want to cancel. Of course, I get transferred to a customer retention operator.)

Me: “Yes, I need to cancel my service as I’m moving to another city.”

Operator: “May I ask where you’re moving to?”

Me: *names city in another part of the state*

Operator: “Oh, well, we also serve that area! You can just have your service moved!”

Me: “Well, I really need to cancel.”

Operator: “You’ll be able to keep the same service there!”

Me: *having a sudden blast of inspiration* “Well, you see, I’m moving in with someone else… and they already have cable set up, so there’s no reason for me to move it or keep it!”

Operator: *pauses* “All right, then, let’s get your service cancelled!”

(And then cancellation was like a breeze. In retrospect, the guy probably wasn’t fooled, but it probably gave him a good reason to just go ahead with cancellation rather than having to pressure another customer to stay. Yes, I was lying. Usually I prefer to be honest with people, but in this case, after a much-publicized case of them high-pressuring customers to stay with them, I think I was justified.)

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