You Can’t Butter Up The Truth With Lies

I am taking orders for a table with a family. A customer orders something that usually comes with asparagus sautéed in butter and garlic.

Customer: “Oh, and no butter in that. I am allergic to butter.”

I make a note and start going through all the other items the customer has ordered to make sure she’ll be okay. Then, the customer’s mother interrupts.

Customer’s Mother: “What? No, you’re not! You just don’t like it!”

I sigh inwardly, as this is a huge pet peeve of the restaurant industry, but I keep my customer service smile on.

Me: “That’s okay, we can make that without butter—”

Customer’s Mother: “No, it’s not okay! You can’t just lie like that! I raised you better than that.”

Customer: *Looking embarrassed* “But… I am allergic!”

Me: “I will let the kitchen know. Just to check, are you allergic to butter in its raw form, or cooked, also?”

Customer: “Butter in all forms! It doesn’t matter!”

I nod and give her the benefit of the doubt. They finish their meals and I collect their plates.

Me: “Shall I bring out some dessert menus for the table?”

Customer: “Yes! This place does the most amazing chocolate lava cake! I get it all the time! I’ve been looking forward to it all week!”

Me: “Uh… ma’am. The chocolate lava cake has quite a lot of butter in it.”

I feel the customer’s heart sink. She can either forego the dessert she’s been looking forward to and keep up the lie, or she can admit defeat and eat her consolation cake.

Customer’s Mother: “Ha! Bet you’ll think twice before making some poor kitchen staff jump through hoops because of your lying!” 

The customer decided that “a little bit of cake” wouldn’t hurt (she finished the whole thing), and that mother became one of my new favorite people.