You Can’t Bulls*** The Third Shift

Why is it people think they can lie to my face and I’m not gonna call them out on it? What possesses them to believe the third-shift guy, who deals with the craziest s*** of all at a seedy motel, is going to be an easy target to bulls***? I just don’t get it.

A woman comes in and says she has a reservation. I ask for her ID and credit card. She gives me her ID and then starts messing around on her phone. I wait about ten seconds.

Me: “Uh… ma’am? Your credit card?”

Guest: “Yeah, yeah, I’m pulling it up.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, I can’t take a card that’s just a picture on your phone. I need it to be physically here.”

Guest: “No, you don’t. Other people here have taken it before! I’ve stayed here like twenty times in the past few months!”

No, she has not. I’m on the verge of giggling now because she’s so full of it.

Me: “No, they didn’t, and if they did, they’d be in trouble for not doing their jobs right.”

Guest: “Where’s the guy that’s usually here? I want to call him. What’s his number?”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no idea who you mean by ‘the guy,’ and even if I did, I can’t give out an employee’s personal number to a guest.”

The woman FINALLY managed to produce a credit card, flinging it across the desk at me. She was snippy and impatient for the entire rest of the check-in, and then she snatched her cards and her keys out of my hands when I handed them to her. I was saccharine sweet for the entire rest of the check-in just to really piss her off, finishing with, “Have a lovely night!”