You Cannot Kill What Is Already Dead Inside

, , , , , , , | Legal | March 12, 2019

(It is just after finals week and my friend, like other college students, is exhausted to the point of being a zombie. He’s with two other friends at night when a mugger comes up and points a knife at him. His friends back off while he just stares.)

Friend: *speaks in the most deadpan voice one can do* “Hey.”

(The mugger demands his money and my friend shrugs. He takes his wallet from his pocket and asks:)

Friend: “How much do you need to borrow?”

Mugger: *caught off guard and shuffles in place* “Uh… you got a twenty?”

Friend: *shakes his head* “Sorry. I only have some ones.”

(The mugger shuffles again before muttering to forget it and walks away. My friend looks to the others he was with and looks at them sleepily.)

Friend: “What?”

(They later told him what happened and he freaked out. We tease him about how finals made him so dead inside that he almost got himself killed.)

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