You Can Stand Under My Umbrella… But That’s It

(I work at a mattress store. It’s not uncommon to deal with a rude or deceitful customer from time to time, but we pride ourselves on customer service and being as nice as possible. We even go as far as walking customers out with umbrellas when the weather is bad. This story just so happens to pertain to the two umbrellas that sit next to my door. It is a sunny, very pleasant Tuesday afternoon.)

Customer: *sees umbrellas sitting in the barrel next to the door* “How much are the umbrellas?”

Me: “Oh, those are for the store, unfortunately. Sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Well, thank you for your time.”

Me: “No problem. Have a good one.”

(The customer heads for the door and waits for me to turn around, and then tries to take an umbrella without making noise. I turn around after hearing a noise.)

Me:  “LADY, ARE YOU FRIGGIN’ SERIOUS?!”

Customer: “I mean, it’s not like you need them; it’s not raining!”

Me: “Drop the umbrella and get out. Now.”