You Can Only Have My Pizza Profits If I Get A Discount!

I work at a pizza chain. A customer comes in and hands me a coupon.

Me: “Ma’am, this coupon is for [Chain #2]. We’re [Chain #1].”

Customer: “I was going to buy my pizza there, but if you’ll honor this coupon, I’ll order with you so you’ll get my profits.”

I just stare at her blankly.

Me: “This isn’t Walmart. We don’t price-match here.”

She didn’t order anything.