You Can Go To Bell!

(I work in a small deli. It’s a quiet afternoon and I have my back turned to the counter while I’m cleaning the chicken oven. I get the feeling I’m being watched.)

Me: “Oh, hi! Didn’t know you were there. What can I get you?”

Customer: “I want [product].”

Me: “Okay.” *gets the item, prices it for them*

Customer: “You should get some kind of noise maker so you know when people are here.”

Me: “Well, we do have a bell, right there on the bench. Or you could say hi, and I’ll know you’re there.”

Customer: “I don’t see a bell.”

(It’s literally right in front of them, and I point that out as calmly as possible.)

Customer: “Well, I bet it isn’t loud enough; I doubt you would hear it.”

Me: “Oh, I can assure you that when someone bothers to use it instead of just staring at my back, I can definitely hear it. Anything else I can get you?”

Customer: “You should get a better bell.”

(So many customers seem to think I have eyes in the back of my head. How hard is it to say hi or tap a bell?)