You Are Not Their Number One Relative

(It’s the week before Christmas and our neighbour from across the road has just come over. We’ve lived in our current home for over 15 years.)

Neighbour: “Here you go, as always.”

(He hands my dad a card, marked with our neighbour’s address but my dad’s name.)

Dad: *sighs* “Thanks, mate.”

Me: “Who’s that from?”

Dad: “My cousin. Always sends their Christmas card to number two.”

(We’re number one and have been the entire time we’ve lived here.)

Me: “But we’ve lived here for over a decade.”

Mum: “I know. But they never seem to take the hint from the return address on the envelope.”

(This year, Mum’s writing our address in the card! See if that breaks the fifteen-year streak.)